So the plan has been to do devo posts every Wednesday. For a while it was easy, and I had plenty to share saved up in my queue. But lately, it has been really difficult to hear God’s voice as I read and study. I’m great at gaining more head knowledge, but have not been doing well at allowing my life to be impacted and changed by what I read.
Part of this, I think, is that there are couple broken relationships in my life with people I was very close to. I absolutely believe that God’s heart is to reconcile all things to himself (and consequently each other), and that we are to work toward that reconciliation as well. But I don’t know how and I’ve been hurt and I’m scared and angry. We are to reconcile with gentleness, and gentleness is definitely not a strength of mine. I’ve avoided conversations, both because I don’t think it will work and because I don’t think I can be kind and gentle. Which I guess means that something in me needs to change.
And then, perhaps, the other reason is that sometimes God doesn’t speak plainly to get us to seek deeper.
Either way, this is a very dry season, and I don’t feel as though I have many words to offer. I’ll keep trying though.